Music Review - Negative Space

REVIEW by Jesse Smith

Title: Negative Space

By: Bittercup

Year: 2019

Track Listing:

1. Led Astray by a Chemical

2. The Ballroom

3. Sequel

4. Attracted to the Pain  

Hey Turkeys,

Following the tail-end of a North Island tour, Bittercup is wrapping the first half of this year having performed at over a dozen venues. To precede our interview with Callum of Bittercup, I’m here to give my opinion on their debut EP - Negative Space.

If you’re wanting to stirring, hypothermic song to fall out of a building from on a night so cold you can’t feel your face on the way down, the opening track is where to go. It wanders between a soft, sharp matter of falsetto and a crackling howl at its peaks, all the while forcing you to circle the drain with an unforgettable bass-line. It’s romantic without the ballad and the guitars are early Blindspott without the comradery. This is all clearly a one man show and it feels like it. A cold, synthetically-charged song and I daresay it’s my favourite so far.

Now if you’re expecting a strictly machine-driven experience, you’re going to be disappointed once track 2 starts. There are only two ways to listen to this song - isolated on headphones or cranked up all the way on surround. Whether this is the best track placement on the album is questionable, but that’s not to say it doesn’t work. It comes from a mostly curious place on my part and I can’t wait to talk about the process of how these songs came together in this way. The Ballroom dances your ears and is completely fucking immersive. It plays like noise therapy for the synesthesiac in you. He’s licking your brain with that voice and playing your veins with that guitar. This might have the best production of the album, but we’re two tracks deep so I’m happy to be proven wrong. A dizzying high of a song and I daresay it’s my favourite so far.

Track 3, Sequel, haunts the album and is where the love goes to die. It’s a dirty Western Gothic affair and at 5 minutes 10 seconds it still feels like it could go longer. There’s life in this track and it provides a sense of loss knowing I’m only ever going to get this close to whatever these words mean. If Led Astray by a Chemical is the end of the neo-noir pretending to be the opening scene, Sequel is the closing credit and fade to black pretending to be the Danny Boyle third act falling off the rails in futility. I can only imagine what this song is like performed live. It’s a short story and a genuine display of what could come from a full length album.  A manic-depressive duet and I daresay it’s my favourite so far.

Oh, you want to know if the boy can sing? Track 4. If the Pain is Callum’s throat, then I am indeed attracted to it. With the opening track if someone told me that Bittercup is one person, I’d believe them. But with this? No way. Something I realise coming to the end of the album is that it builds in four distinct pieces to culminate what feels like a fully realised band.  If you’re left wondering where the first half of the story that is Led Astray by a Chemical, it’s Attracted to the Pain. A song that convinces you that falling is okay, even on the coldest of nights and I daresay it’s my favourite so far.

To me, the mark of a good song is whether you can build a story, a universe, a film, something, beyond it. Delighted to report that Negative Space does, and it does it well. Of all the Bittercup albums, it’s my favourite so far.

4.5 stars out of a possible 4.5 stars.

Plug:

https://bittercupmusic.com

https://bittercup.bandcamp.com

https://soundcloud.com/bittercup

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGTCxuWGR6Jm9LN66wRTdrQ

https://twitter.com/bittercupmusic

https://www.facebook.com/bittercupofficial

Old Man Reviews: The Billboard Hot 100 top 5 for June 2019

Old Man Reviews:

The Billboard Hot 100 top 5

For June 2019

When I came up with the idea for this article I gave myself some vague rules to stick to. Namely be blunt and mean, I am a grumpy old man after all. Also to attempt to provide alternatives to these stylistically bankrupt audio bites. Beyond that I decided that I had to review the songs as part and parcel with their videos. After all, video killed the radio star and whatnot. None of these songs are going to be sufficiently likeable or artistically integral or memorable beyond the potential viral value of their videos. Don't worry, I’m sure MTV VMA’s will be won by all... Mazel Tov.

Songs countdown from number 5 to 1

———————————————————————————

5 Sucker - Jonas Brothers

This may be the first Jonas Brothers song I've ever heard, honestly I had no idea what format of music I was assuming they considered themselves to be a part. Or which I would have attempted to place them in. Having heard this song I have decided on elevator music.

If this song and what little I have heard on MTV ad stings is anything to go by, the Jonas Brothers are truly and supremely inoffensive, probably by design. There is literally nothing here to be offended by, but by the same tune, there is absolutely nothing here to grasp on to either.

I have to assume fairly or not, that all their fans are of band members themselves rather than the music. I think I remember a south park episode making some serious implications. That said “band members” is a stretch. While instruments were present, there was no clear proof that any were in the mix of the song. Which sounds a lot like the preset track, pre-installed on the software you have to delete every time you want to start a new composition.

Special mention to the wives. The three actresses more than steal the show. Purely by visually appearing to have actually had sex… Unlike their husbands. The Jonas Brothers somehow seem to have maintained that subtle little hint of doubt in the corner of their eye:

That one that reserved for those who have remained virginal beyond a socially acceptable age.

We all remember them and their Disney branded purity rings, but come on guys, you’re married, and some of you even have kids. You don’t have to be virgins anymore. Sex is not a sin within the bounds of wedlock.

Song to listen to instead: Suck - Nine Inch Nails

Why: If you’re gonna suck at least have some feelings about it

———————————————————————————

4 I Don’t Care - Ed Sheeran & Justin Bieber

After the first song and now this one, I’m beginning to see a trend that I really hoped I wasn’t going to see with these songs:

A crippling case of bland.

Honestly the previous review stands for this in a lot of ways, aside from the fact that Ed and Justin have definitely had sex. This song is so woefully inoffensive that I I have forgotten it in its entirety, even though I am currently playing on loop as I write. Clearly this was a solid 30 minutes in the studio well spent by both artists.

That said I have a soft spot for ole’ Edward, I saw him live when last he made his way to the bottom of the planet. I am going out on a limb and suggesting Ed is doing what he seems to have done on a lot of albums. Throwing a couple of easy singles with a feature artist out to make it easier to generate views or streams or however the hell music makes money in twenty fucking whatever it is now.

Justin Bieber continues to look like his little boy face is just being actively superimposed onto an aggressively tattooed man body. For what reason Warner music is doing so I am not entirely sure. I cannot understand is whether Bieber is actually an active musician? Singer? Artist? anymore. Best I can tell he just does half arsed features on other people's songs, on his way to banging his now [mostly] of age fans, that remember him as a pre-pubescent heart-throb. There’s a sentence I wished I didn’t write.

The video continues Ed’s adherence to quirky low-fi editing techniques and art design. Pulled off in that special way that you know no expense has been spared to achieve said result.

Song to listen to instead: Icona Pop - I Love it (I Don’t Care)

Why: If you don’t care at least revel in it, don’t just make me also not care

———————————————————————————

3 Talk - Khalid

First off I have to state, Khalid is apparently not the same person as DJ Khaled. I know, I was disappointed too. His snapchat stories about the keys to success or some such nonsense raised him to near Kanye levels of self deluded grandeur in my head. To be honest I lost all will to continue when I realised I would not hear: “DJ KHALED” shouted at the beginning of this track.

First thing that strikes me is the video. Its that video. You know the one I mean, one with lots of coloured squares like the that noughts and crosses game show (ticktacktoe). That type of video that has been done so many fucking times. Think Elvis VS JXL, Burning down the house (Tom Jones & The Cardigans Cover) or basically any other music video that can be built in 15 minutes in front of a green screen. Expect copious amounts of basic set dressing and backup dancers. All to give the video any sort of life or entertainment to proceedings.

Aside from being cheap, there is another reason to do this video: The studio does not think this artist is attractive, charismatic or bankable enough to pull off a video on their own.

Nuff said, rant goes on.

The song, no fuck it, forget the song, third elevator entertainment inspired song in this article.

With R&B I always feel like there is the regular stuff and the self aware stuff. The self aware stuff is the only stuff that I can cope with. Regular garden variety R&B is just monotonous nose whining accompanying a 15 second loop of drum machine and some sort of synth. Repeated over and over for 3 minutes 18 seconds.

Song to listen to instead: Talking Heads - Burning down the house

Why: Coloured cubes music videos made me think of Tom Jones & Cardigans, but the original is better

———————————————————————————

2 Bad Guy - Billie Eilish

This song I like.

Maybe it's my long lost love of grunge. It all kind of sounds half arsed, and I’m not against that at all. It has that perfect blend of crisp HD visuals, with the dirt and grime of an artist that deep down really hates them-self in the best possible way. It’s self aware and has a sense of humour. Besides, it's nice to see a casual nosebleed.

There are no delusions of grandeur here, more of a swift fuck you to anyone who would dare to take themselves so seriously to not enjoy this song. The song is catchy and almost nothing else, in the best way possible.

Consider me refreshed.

Probably shows the type of person I am that I have the least to say about the thing that I like. Welcome to the human condition I guess.

I even went down a bit of a rabbit hole of a few of her songs and videos, and yeah, definitely a bit of a fan now. I just hope when she comes of age she doesn’t ditch the baggy sweats and boiler suits for a more sexual persona. I guess I’m saying I hope the stylistic choices aren’t a result of powers beyond her, keeping the door shut until she hits a socially acceptable age. Maybe I’m the way I’m reading into it just says negative things about me, either way I’m feel somewhat protective. Shine the fuck on Billie

Song to listen to instead: Nah, stick with this one

Why: It's actually decent

———————————————————————————

1 Old Town Road - Lil Nas X Featuring Billy Ray Cyrus

To round out the article, my Billie Eilish appreciation must sadly come to an end.

With the meme fodder this song has become, I am honestly surprised I haven’t actually heard the song until now. This one seems to fall into the territory of having a video that’s just a bit too entertaining to the point where you forget about the song. Initially I was pretty confused why the music video suddenly looked so much higher quality than the one I had seen a little of earlier when the song released. Its a newer video. I guess when the song went viral the label splashed out.

There is very little to this song. It can’t really be considered a rap song. I’m not sure there was a solid length verse in the song at all. It's more just a slow, vaguely catchy duet between Lil Nas X and Billy Ray Cyrus. I am assuming it is partially a cover of a Billy Ray song or something, but I am not about to research to confirm. I am extremely lazy after all.

Honestly It’s hard to disagree with the kid, he’s enjoying himself and is unashamedly riding the high of having a viral hit. Power to him I say.

Maybe I’m just riding the high that came from the Billie Eilish mood revival I’ve experienced. But I was aware and impressed of how genuinely positive and friendly Lil Nas X has been about his experience with sudden fame and money. I just don’t don’t have a negative word to say about the kid.

Song to listen to instead: This one is fine

Why: At least you’ll be in on the memes, you owe yourself that much. Also the video is a laugh.

———————————————————————————

I am not sure a conclusion to this article is necessary. But maybe I could do a followup in future. I am not sure meme value is a good reason to be considered the most popular song right now. However I guess that is exactly what a viral meme is. At least I am happy knowing that Billie was in there powering through on actual talent and art.

Logan

The Peoples Club Part 1 - A Draft

The Peoples Club Part 1 - A Draft

Today I ask myself the same question I ask after every tiring slow work day.

Do I sell everything I own and disappear the fuck out of this place, go on a walkabout or some other such white man find himself adventure.

I hide from the news cycle these days, not because I fear it, just because it’s boring. The 24 hour cycle shows us time a time again a revolving slideshow of natural disaster, celebrity gossip and political outrage. We are desensitised to caring about any of it by its sheer need to doggedly inform.

I am not a religious man, nor am I spiritual. So then today I ask myself dear brothers and sisters:

What meaning is left for the rest of us that are incapable of blind adherence to outdated doctrine?

The main thing I have heard that those without religious affiliation lack is a greater sense of community. No while I realise that the data saying this may be a result of religions pretending to do social science, I do feel like there is some merit to this. Those with a lesser sense of community are at greater risk of having a smaller support network and therefore feeling more isolated and lost in a time when such a state is becoming worryingly universal.

So then if we were to take core concepts of religion and apply them in a secular sense, what would it look like. There are a lot of things that would need to be ruled out from the get go.

No thousands of years of history.

• Scientology may have been able to pop up fairly recently, but beyond that almost all religions have their basis back before people knew the world was round. A true modern secular religion would not have this justification from historical permanence to justify its existence.

No fear based membership

• All the best shitty religions of the world have some level of hate for the unwashed masses, the unconverted and the sexually diverse.

No god

• I mean I feel like this goes without saying, but yeah, no god. There is no great higher power, there is no direction, there is no meaning, beyond that which we make for ourselves that which circumstance gives us, and that which we choose for ourselves.

No Illogical outdated societal rules

• Religion is at its core a way to convey and control basic rules throughout the lives of the people. But so many churches hate so many things for reasons so lost to time or obscure and outdated bigotry from ancient foreign lands that anyone who is adherent enough to follow them can only be considered some craven zealot that any civilised society could only cast out.

So then from my four points we can drill down the format of religion: The creation of a ruleset and the use of a deity and fictionalised narrative to enforce it.

How to Re this Format into a force for good?

Membership - To take a page from the Judeo-inclined among us, This group would be an exclusive one. One with a hard journey to get in, and serious stakes for those who are in.

Then a People’s Club would be formed.

ENTRY - If you have a friend that is a member, they are allowed to give you the hint if they think you would be club material and put you on the path. They are not allowed to vouch for you. The hint they give you identifies them as the person that put you on the path. A member must then be found in the wild, you must find them, and convince them to vouch for you, how you do so is up to you. Once they are willing to vouch for you, they can bring you to a meeting at the club. Once you arrive at the club you must advise the club who gave you the hint and that information will be recorded for posterity.

ACCEPTANCE - Your first visit to the club will require you speak with all present members. They will give you time, respect and conversation. You will be shown what the club offers, what its members do at meetings, and you will be welcomed. You will be on your best behaviour and so will the club. Members will not be added often, but membership should be assured to most who visit.

DENIAL - You will become a member, because if you do not then the club will lose two members. The one who gave you the hint, and the one who vouched for you will be excommunicated if you do not pass muster. The friend had, and the friend won will be removed with you if you fail to impress.

MEMBERSHIP - You’re continued membership is not assured, you must successfully bring a new member into the fold once a year. Through this you earn your right to remain, as well as ensuring the survival and growth of the club.

STATUS - While the club has a flat structure, tenure is respected, those who have grown the club by the most people, and held place for the longest have earned the respect of their peers. They are good judges of character, and have proven their worth, dedication and decorum. They are not above reproach for their actions, and are still subject to all the same rules. They are those who have the most lines travelling to and from them, both in hints given and people vouched for, their increased value is an increase in responsibility.

FOUNDERS - While the club has a flat structure, the founders are respected above all others. They started the club, they created the rules, they started the movement. A founder is the only member that cannot be simply removed for breaking the rules. A founder can only be removed after a clear and blatant transgression, and even then only if the two other founders deem it necessary. From there the same applies for the second founder, though that requires the consensus of the third founder and the two most tenured members. To eject the final founder, the entire club must be in consensus that the founder committed a transgression sufficient. No single transgression is sufficient to automatically eject a founder, a discussion must be had with the transgressed founder present.

TRANSGRESSIONS - Should a member commit an action, within the club, or out in the world that is sufficiently contravening to the morality or dignity of the club, then that member shall be given the right to explain themself before the club. A discussion must be had. Should the actions of the individual be deemed inexcusable, then that member is ejected from the club. Along with them go the one who gave them the hint and the one who vouched for them.

HOSTING - Turns will be taken to host meetings, where a member assumes the role of bartender. They serve the drinks, they play the role of the guide, assuring conversation flows and the group enjoys the meeting. The host is the most honoured role in the club on their night, as they are the silent party who dictates the flow. Failure to be present and host on your night is the worst transgression possible and results in instant excommunication. The host can come to the table with a format of their choosing, however the success of their actions is theirs to ensure.

LEAVING - If a member wishes to resign from the club on good terms, they may. Responsibility for members they have hinted or vouched for will be assigned to those within the club will be transferred to those deemed worthy.

CONVERSATION - No topic is taboo, no discussion off the table, but decorum must be upheld. If a conversation cannot be had without members coming to a head then heated members must recuse themselves or otherwise bow out of the conversation. A failure to maintain composure is frowned upon. A continued inability to do so will be seen as a transgression.

HUMOUR - The club is a place of humour, that must remain true above all things.

THE CLUBROOM - The host must ensure the security and standard of the clubroom. On their night of hosting, they must ensure the cleanliness and order of the establishment. Failure to do so is one of the highest transgressions of all.

THE RULES - The rules must be perfect, should any holes be discovered in the tenets of the club, they must be rectified by a founder. If no founder remains, then the next most tenured member has the honour.

You might notice something about these rules, while yes they imply a tone of culture, they do not dictate content, there is no unifying god narrative to this church, beyond that of the prestige the members give it. The sanctity comes from ensuring one’s continued membership. Because once you are out you are out… FOR GOOD.

Logan

Every goal's a hole

I’m not entirely sure what I want to talk about today. The lack of recent episodes should have me foaming with half-baked ideas about everything trivial, but here I am without a topic. There’s an absolute certainty that I want to engage with you, readers, but with a severe lack of direction it’s hard not to procrastinate so that’s what I’ll talk about until an idea comes to mind.  Is there a job out there that allows me to do such a thing?  I’ve been a student and it sucked, let’s not suggest that again. I’ve finally paid off the loan that came with 4 years of not even really drinking or fucking for that matter, so in that respect I have learned to spend my government’s money a bit better. But hey, I wrote a lot of essays and met some people that are both fantastic and in the same stroke barely in my life anymore. Shout-out, class of ’12, I barely tried! I now realise I’m going out of my way to write an essay. Fuck that AMA referencing though, this is Wired Shut Blog, damn it, and we’re as academic as we are diverse.

To those of you who don’t know anything genuine about me, I’m turning 30 this year and with that milestone comes the feeling that I’m dragging myself down with an increasing lack of satisfaction in life.  The difficulty with happiness is that you often take it for granted. To live one day at a time with joy and indulgence and simply doing what makes you feel good. Goals are dopamine goldmines, hard work should be satisfaction in itself – do something, make something, fix something, get that hit. Now that I put this to paper, this may actually be conditioning of a social construct...My bootstraps long to have me pull myself up with or something… all I can say is don’t weigh yourself down with that milestone like I’ve done. There’s far more to do than what you think you should do. How’s that for inspiring? Is it meaningful? Sure. Does it mean anything? Doesn’t matter, I have a website.

Safe to say, we’ve all experienced some form of self-doubt, of self-loathing, of not feeling as if you’ve caught a break when you’ve worked hard, or conversely by not catching a break that you don’t deserve satisfaction that you haven’t worked nearly as hard as everyone else. Which path to take, which life to live today? Surely it’s time to specialize. Look at the people around you, twice your age that you’re already three steps ahead of. How good does that feel? Does that make them feel cheated? Or do they measure themselves by a different standard? They might be younger than you and three steps ahead, at least by your measurements. They might own a home, be in a loving relationship, earning six figures, travelling the world. Maybe they’re managing to do all of those things at the same time. To compare yourself to anyone quickly becomes a damaging practice that requires constant work to manage without losing your fucking mind over. You see what someone else has done and want that for yourself, that’s how you know goals are attainable, right?

When it comes to your own life, it’s got to be only yours. Find that balance between selfishness and enjoying the successes, carrying the losses and toast the ideas of those closest to you because you’ve got to have more of a common ground, a convergence of living, than simply comradery, hobbies or habits. Remember, your friends lives are yours to share in too. Take them, celebrate them, own them and champion them. They’re likely to do the same. Internalizing your successes and pining for some aspect what brought you that happiness yourself. That is to say don’t live through anyone else. Live them adjacently. The world is a massive place so find your place in it. Chances are it won’t be with the people you grew up with, or with the people that raised you. Maybe it is, though, and that’s okay. Find your tribe. It’s what we’ve evolved to do and the shackles of a day-job grind is not your tribe. That’s the war. Don’t let the place that employs you define you. Go online and find the deepest, most fringe subset of your persona expressed in a group activity. “There are dozens of us!” you’ll hear them scream. “You’ve joined a sex cult!” your detractors will bemoan. Ideally you’ll find yourself in a position to fuck them both for such statements. And isn’t that why we’re really here?

More to come, but for now wire me shut and pour me something dirty, your host is turning 30.

- Jesse

Christchurch March 15th Mosque Attack

Like all Wired Shut, this is under-edited, under-researched and under thought out, but it is my attempt at an honest, but hopefully engaging opinion, I am writing stream of consciousness:

Am I a hypocrite for feeling so genuinely sad about the Christchurch shootings? - People get hurt, murdered and mistreated daily globally in extravagant number.

Why then did I genuinely shed a tear in the name of people I will never meet at the other end of a country I love and loathe in equal measure?

Is it just proximity? Am I just another hypocrite that is to be lamented online by other hypocrites all feeling the overwhelming need to weigh in on something that has such significant bearing on the lives of key others around us that we should all just have kept our mouths shut and let their voices be heard?

Is my NZ born and bred tall poppy soul just so at odds with my ever flexing god complexing that the pair are squeezing this internal discussion outward, while simultaneously disallowing me to form a coherent prose of any kind beyond a string of rhetorical noise?

Maybe if I am writing I should at least try to make a point…

I do and I don't understand what happened in Christchurch on the 15th. The muddle of Tarrant’s diatribe about the whys and logics of what he did are so self referential like all modern internet dialogue. To the point that there is no way to read them without a sense of humour axing key ideas as the rote talking points of darkly humorous subcultures like 4chan, or in his case the white nationalist depths of 8. But we all know that those subcultures are inherently the discussion havens of the fat neck-bearded and powerless of us, huddled in “mom’s” basement, greasy hands scuttling across LED lit mechanical keys, pouring nonsense to the like minded. AND those “internet savvy” among us all know that they have a key self referentiality about them. That is to say all those involved are aware that they are the scum of the earth. All greentexts or otherwise read as highlight reels of people sarcastically retelling their inabilities to be coherent and effective in the real world, and none of it is without self referentiality. Nutjobs circle jerking about who is the least stunted in their never committing pursuit towards normality, whilst simultaneously hating on the normies who they hate for just being normal. How then to we analyse such a dialogue and say see, this is it here, this is where he became a radical. Or this here, this is the type of thing we need to stop. Arguably some of this dialogue has become so stratified with meta language and autistic group think, that all contributors and lurkers can all be entitled to an entirely different view to the severity or humour level of what is being discussed. But frankly that is 4chan, 8chan is a slightly different beast…

If Reddit is your go to cultural news network, 4chan is the boots on the ground newswire ticker sending the raw informational bytes of meme’ry and whatnot into the ether to be normalised and made more palatable before they find their way into the mainstream, homogenized and friendly. When you scroll through your reddit feed while you’re on the toilet, 8chan is the shit you flush when you stand up to leave.

8chan eschews the humour and self referential, for the “I told you so’s” of what can only be a bored, underemployed, disenfranchised, powerless brand of right-wing white-nationalist nonsense. None of it reads with the same esoteric cheeky wink that I’ve come to love so much about 4chan’s meta narrative. While saying that I am entirely willing to believe that the meta is so vast that i am just entirely uninitiated enough to fail to understand it.

When your general discussion topics are inherently anarchistic, valuing protection of self, dismantling of states, and general fear of collectivist ideas, one would tend to presume your politics lean toward the aforementioned anarchy. However 8chan is fascistic through and through. Much like proponents of intersectionality, they seek the creation of stratified states with limitations on rights based on a chosen hierarchy. However they differ from intersectionality to a polar extent in terms of who should be at the top of said hierarchy. 8channers seek a white ethno state and they have key beliefs that pretty accurately align with those of the Neo-Nazi. That is: the white man is king, all others are lesser evolved beings who  deserve to be under his boot. They also take special effort to find ways to blame the jewish community for damn near every negative event possible, to comically ironic effect. White Australian attacks a mosque full of peaceful worshipping Muslim refugees. Two comments in to anger at the massive support the go fund me for the christchurch muslim community. Yada yada, race war needed, and cue passionate anger and guns being taken away, as though the average NZer was a texan fearing a democrat gaining the white house. The word “cuck” is liberally applied to almost all comments. Less than a third of the way through, and the thread has become almost entirely about how the 6 million dollars crowdsourced and donated is numerological proof of a jewish conspiracy, a semitic guiding hand causing the tragedy rather than the white nationalism incited and perpetrated by this very messageboard.

Suffice to say it is an open forum for what appear to be white males who self describe as marginalised. As far as rules go, the most strict policies outlined on the site are its adamant adherence to not being a place of child pornography, something it has been proven to facilitate but not host. As well as its how to spot snooping authorities, disinformation, spies and suppressors of the truth. Another example of the profound irony on display here. Is the cleaning up of such a cesspool of vibrantly racist nonsense a means to prevent future attacks, no. They would just go elsewhere, 8chan is a symptom, not the cause.

But enough has been said about the content, users and ideology. What needs to be discussed is that these people see themselves as freedom fighters, as a last bastion of hope for a people who will not stand up for themselves proudly and openly on the world stage. These people see themselves as our champions, standing tall in the firing line to fight for freedoms we have become too “cucked” to demand. Which while I disagree with I understand.

There was a time of colonialism in the past, where my pale skinned european ancestors walked arrogantly over the world subjugating or destroying all cultures they came across and forcibly “civilising” the world in their image. All shapes of culture and commerce we have now are inherently marred by that process. The process of breaking down outdated structures that incorrectly cite freedom where none exists are and have been growing as proximity teaches people that differences in skin colour do not reference differences in ability, capability or dignity. However doing so at social, governmental and economic levels means painting in broad strokes. Those strokes are by rights going to leave some people behind.

Change like all things happens like a pendulum swing, we should not be looking for the large and obvious motions, but for the happy medium point where the pendulum will one day come to rest. But there are also the extremes, however it is my perspective that all of the current extremes we have be they left or right wing are all inherently fascist. And as the squeaky wheel gets the grease, the extremes have come to dictate discourse. They yell back and forth at one another, while the moderate masses sit back and ignore their posturing. But if the middle raised its voice would it not just become a new polarity in the melee?

But the extremes are totally fine with putting their necks out for the nonsense they believe in. So too are they totally fine with walking into a place of worship and gunning down 50 innocent civilians and injuring many more. These people were not extremist islamists, they were just people, and fucking New Zealanders for that matter.

I think that is the hardest part to tackle internally, these were New Zealanders, this attack happened in New Zealand. School shootings in America, bombings in europe and the middle east, Russia and China disappearing political dissidents, African coups. Endless wars. So much strife and pain happens in the world daily, but in my mind NZ was an oasis, by way of simple distance we were not a player, we are not big enough to offend, we are not strong enough to fear. I guess in that sense Tarrant was right, this has been a sensation of a loss of innocence for me, and perhaps for other New Zealanders too. I am heartened to see all the stories of heroism and altruism becoming the forefront of this story, not the tragedy. I am happy to see talk of the removal of automatic weapons from NZ, frankly I was not even aware they were legal until now. Call me a liberal cuck if you need to, but I think at this point unless I was thrust into a life or death situation, I think holding a gun would just make me feel kind of sick. They have always scared me, but seeing such a real and visceral example of their life changing power, I just do not want them in my life.

I don’t have answers, I don’t have adequate words of sympathy, I don’t have a solution, and maybe I should just have kept my mouth shut. Sad that the first attempt to actually make use of this site couldn’t be under better circumstances.

-Logan